Sure times change and people grow up and all that m’larky, but something horrible is slowly starting to dawn on me now. One of the reasons I moved to where I live now is because I like the atmosphere in the pubs and restaurants, sure there are a few pretentious pricks, but otherwise, it’s all good. A nice mixture of “old people” and “youngsters” – I’ve always liked that, perhaps it was the core of me thinking “you’ll be old one day but you’ll probably still want to see your mates out every now and then”
But it occurred to me, last Saturday, maybe I’ve stepped over the bridge? Maybe I’m now officially old, maybe I shouldn’t be attempting to dance any more (actually, in truth I stopped that a long time ago after someone described my dancing as a bee on fire trying to put itself out) but the spots where we stand in bars, maybe now we should be stepping to the sides, in the darker corners where the young people don’t go.
When do we realise that maybe now is the time to step aside? My mother had a “fall” the other day, she’s not that old, I thought you were supposed to be 76 when “falls” stopped being funny and started being pelvis related.
Then I look at this website, this tatters of my life, and I think “fuck me, I was 24 when I started writing this” – I’m 31 now, my mind feels different now, there’s no way on earth I could write something as well as I wrote in this post. (even though the contents are fairly amusingly depressed – I suppose lots of good things have happened since then… )
Drum roll
Like becoming a dad.
Yes, it’s true, Moi, me, myself, is on his way to becoming a father. – the poor little bugger is going to have to put up with me being their parent. Maybe this is why I’m suddenly feeling older, because now it’s time to fucking quickly get older before it’s too late? Who knows… Time, will, I’m sure, tell.
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