I’ve noticed something of late, and it has begun to perturb me slightly. Knowing my ability explain things in a concise, precise manner, I shall now begin to write a lengthy article based on my personal opinion with absolutely no back up of reality.
I’ve noticed, that to be good at something, you have to be utter shit at something else. And the inverse is always true too.
Let this graph hopefully explain. (Seriously, I’m not trying to rip off Xkcd here but I have a graphics tablet and the reasoning ability of a cornish pasty)
I’ve become to realise that if you’re a shit footballer, the odds are, you’re probably going to end up being a very good manager. I shall now qualify this daft statement with the following list of names.
Alex Ferguson, Rafa Benitez, Alf Ramsey, Matt Busby, Arsene Wenger, Philip Scolari, José Mourinho, Bob Paisley,
Now great players who are/were shit managers:-
Kevin Keegan, Roy Keane (spit), Gianfranco Zola, Tony Adams,
The jury is out on : Paul Ince, Gareth Southgate, Maradonna,
And that’s just the premiership….
All I can think for managers that can arguably be called “good players” and “good managers” are Fabio Capello, Franz Beckenbauer, Jurgen Klinsmann and Martin O’Neill… and like I say, I’m not exactly sure how good Capello was as a player and Klinsmann can only be arguably called a decent manager because he managed his national side.
And it’s not just football… I recently read the Wikipedia entry on Stephen Fry (mainly because he broke his arm on his tele program about America and I wondered how… He never did explain it) – and was surprised to find that Steve has done a bit of jail time.
And then it occurred to me, Mark Wahlberg was also Jailed…
And so was Tim Allen,
And so was Christian Slater,
And so was Robert Downey Jr,
And so was Chuck Berry,
And so was Martha Stewart,
And so was Nick Nolte,
And so was David Bowie,
And so was Vanilla Ice,
and so on and so on…
Caveat Emptor – Admittedly, I’ll conceed that a few of these only did a matter of hours in tweet, but still, you get my point, I’ve never even as much as looked at a long arm shank guv’nor, honest
And then I realised, perhaps to be famous you have to have been in Jail.. Maybe it’s a right of passage or something…
Maybe to be a great musician your nose has to be filled with any drugs money can buy.
Maybe you HAVE to be an irredeemable twat to be a News paper editor… (I’m sure we can all figure out who I’m talking about here)
So kids, if you want to be famous. I suggest this – Go out, don’t play football, do lots of beak, and twat a policeman.
Sure. Fire. Ticket.
Steven Fry once kicked me on the London Underground – I’d love to say he was reading something like Hitch Hikers guide to the galaxy or something and we hit it off like a house on fire, but sadly, he wasn’t, and he didn’t — True Story