Confused.com – You fucking irritate me.
Lets get one thing straight
Internet. TV. Internet. TV. The words don’t look the same, they are not the same. The internet is not equal to television. Television is not equal to the Internet. Internet != TV.
Right, now on to the advertisers of this world. Please read the following line very carefully and then go back to the start and read it again.
TV marketing campaigns should not try and mimic the Internet’s tendency for user generated content. EVER.
Television, by it’s very fucking definition, is not an interactive service. Sure, companies like Sky would love to make you believe otherwise, (and some of those dodgy girl/ass channels), but really, honestly, TV has no user interaction whatsoever.
Therefore, there is no “community” regarding Television, there’s no YouTube for TV. There’s no fucking schmucks out there with webcams who actually give a fuck enough to post about something on TV – and in the case of Confused dot fucking com. How much they give a fuck about ease of use.
I’ve never once visited a website, (and I include friendly.com) and thought “Oh!, It’s very friendly”- SO MUCH that I thought, “I know, I’ll go and make a YouTube style video of me talking into a camera saying how fucking friendly Friendly.com is” – JUST STOP IT.
Television, I used to love you, because with a little application, you don’t need to mimic the internet, you don’t have to try and convince us that there’s some sort of sub-culture revolving around Television, there isn’t, and I’m thankful for that because the internet sub-culture is fucking shite. Don’t ever let anyone say it isn’t.
Advertisers, go and look at Cog – If you have to copy something, go and fucking copy this. We don’t need to see ourselves on Tv. This is not a Mexican stage show, Give me beautiful people, give me clever jokes, give me shit I couldn’t possibly dream of seeing on the internet.
But do not, I repeat, do not, give me this emo fucking retard saying shit like “Oh is it on?” – Of couse it’s fucking on you hippy twat, you’re in a TV fucking advert. Cocksucking flid.
And also, the fat girl who stars in this advert fucking offends my eyes.
Argh, my god damn eyes, why did I go and post a picture of this werepig on my fucking website?
And another thing.. Don’t intersperse the advert with really annoying “other shit” too. Like a pair of fingers wearing shoes, and really really really fucking annoyingly going “ta-daaa” and jumping in the air. It’s not fucking clever. Please go away and die.
For those who haven’t seen it
FUCK OFF! (God that Ta-da annoys me more than those people who come around and knock on my door asking me to believe in a fairy tale book) – those bastard Disney activists are getting really pushy nowadays
As an act of revenge, I shall NEVER, EVER use confused.com