Well, well, well… I’ve finally gone and done it.. I’ve finally gone and put my money where my mouth is and made a game.
Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado, I present….
Stunt Car Online
A game written completely by yours truly, a game that’s so epic in scale that here’s what a lot of famous “people in the know” said about it.
Johnathon “Braid” Blow – “Eh? What? Oh that cunt that thinks Braid is rubbish? He’s made a computer game? Does it have shitty car salesmen in it? No? Shit story line? No? – Sounds fucking shit”.
Peter Molypoo -“Well lick my nipples and call me Timothy, The LEGEND that is ScrewYouHippy has gone and made a game eh? Well BUM MY FIST… I don’t believe it. Can you influence people in it by tickling their bum hole? No? Well FUCK, sounds fucking toss to me.”
Cliffy “Becoming Marcus Fenix” B – That shit dick has made a game? Bet it sucks cock, YEAHHHHH
And as you can see, by the raptuous reception it’s getting from it’s peers, you REALLY should go and check it out. (Of course, you can’t yet, because it’s not available to play yet, but once it does, you can go and play it here
It has a GLOBAL LEADERBOARD as well as ONLINE FUCKING MULTIPLAYER… Yes indeed it does. Isn’t that great?
Here’s a video of it kicking the living shit out of Braid
Any edge editors reading, I’ve written a review you can copy and paste into your rag magazine
This fucking ROX.
Thanks all – Go and check it out, (oh, and by the way, if you register for the forums, you’ll get early access to the playable game. (Which is a matter of days away) – as you’ll need to be able to log in, it uses your forum username and password because I linked the two…
On a serious note, if everyone could do me the great honour of visiting the website and maybe clicking on the facebook “Like” button – that would endear me greatly.
Can’t help this should have been called something a bit more original than tagging “mr” onto something to do with explosions.. It’d be better called something like “Crazy Pyromania a-gogo rainbow 24hours” or something… (A reckless disregard for fireworks?)
Anyway, go and download it, play it for all of thirty seconds, be thankful it’s expunged another 30 seconds of your miserable fucking existence.
If StarGuard (mentioned below) is liquid crack, Caverns is liquid eyeball sucking meths. Honestly, I’m getting pissed off with all these people with Pixel skillz, but this game is fuckin awesome (Although I’m slightly concerned about the author trying to monetise it, that’s not very fucking “indie” is it)
Anyway, Don’t let that put you off, the advert is easily skipped and when you do, the game is utterly addictive, and quite fucking charming.
Now dear readers, I’d never ever go all “arty” and crap on you, No sir-ee bob. But if you’ve got ten minutes of your lifeforce to waste (and trust me, it seems that I have plenty spare at the moment) – then there are worse ways of spending the time than watching this short film.
Anyway, not sure exactly the motivation for me posting it, just boredom I guess. Hopefully it’ll relieve that boredom you’re having reading this too.
A.k.a – Also known as “Hurrah!, I finished a project”
The running man is a creation of my very own fingers. Basically, it’s a TCP/IP multiplayer game where you button bash S and D as fast as you can whilst occasionally pressing C to jump the hurdles.
Download it here – If you don’t know what a .rar file is then sorry…. Make sure you extract the game into a folder, (it will not run from inside the zip)
You Must Create A Server even if you want to play on your own, you must run the Server.exe first, then run the client_rm.exe
When using the client_rm.exe – you must create a new account for the first time then log in.
I’ll fix all these one day, but not yet… For now, just enjoy the greatness that is the love of my loins and try and beat my astonishing personal best time of 19.34 (this isn’t really my best, but I’ll put it here just in case anyone plays the game and beats it)
If someone wants to host an online game – let us know and I’ll join in…
Don’t kid yourself into thinking this is a space game, it’s not, it’s a tower defence game, in space. – Anyway, it’s a pretty decent (if nothing new) distraction for twenty or so minutes, and then the difficulty curve goes fucking mentalist and you end up thinking “actually, this is a bit like work, except I’m not getting paid” and the fun kinda wears off…
Either way, try it out. I appreciate I’ve probably put you off, but it’s not a terrible boredom killer…
Now these are good. No, properly good. Properly, properly boredom killing mother fucking good.
Yes, Three of them, not Twelve, not Two, Three. – They all have a similar theme, it’s called Physics…
This one is cool, basically, you drive around a little smiley face in a simple physics land and try and remain above the red line. (Remembering that you can’t stop on a Gray box)
Totem destroyer is a similar game, but probably a bit more straight forward, basically the little indiana jones like statue can’t be stood on the ground when the level finishes (You click on the bits that you don’t want to keep)
Hmmm, these games ARE very similar now aren’t they?
Like bridge builder and Armadillo run, this one is one of those “get something to somewhere using a contraption” thingy… And bloody good it is too.
Well, I’ve decided to continue to work on a project that I’ve always wanted to do… A proper remake of a classic game that I dearly love called “Mortville Manor”
My plan is to basically re-invent the game, with graphical ‘tweaks’ and a radical overhaul of the user interface (which, granted, was pretty awful) – I plan to make the game fairly extensible too so that I can easily implement a “new” adventure mode for people who have maybe already completed the original.
Here’s an example of the screenshots that I’m very basically tweaking. I plan on introducing a more diverse colour pallette, but not just yet.
Obviously, you’ll have to look pretty close to see the difference currently, (I’ve basically interpolated the image, I’m pretty sure there are game’ing filters that could easily do it for me too, but hey) – I want to remain true to the original for now and then extend it eventually.
I’ve also uploaded a very simple tech-demo of the snow.. I was bored, if you press Left and Right on the keyboard, you’ll go to another room (and a different snow effect) – I was just playing, but hey…