I love these

One thing I have discovered lately browsing around various websites is the proximity of really good looking girls to my IP address.

Let me demonstrate my point in picture format and then open the topic up for discussion with.. well.. myself.

When browsing around “various” websites, I’ve noticed that there are a lot of personal adverts that the cynic inside of me can’t help but feel are fake.

Take the above image for example. Here you will see three, quite clearly – Americans pretending to come from Wigan, Widnes and Warrington.

How do I know they are not from Wigan, Widnes and Warrington? Lets tackle each individually shall we.

Fancygirl30 (who is suspiciously 27, and therefore one can guess that 30 is actually referring to her IQ) is obviously not from Wigan. Why? Well for starters there are no beaches in Wigan. Sure it could be a holiday photo. Bringing to my more obvious and stern point. All girls in Wigan are fucking ugly fat pie eating slags. (It’s well documented) The girl photo’d quite clearly has a wash board stomach – not exactly a pie eater then eh?

TammyGirl1970 (again, a girl who is bad at maths because she clearly wasn’t born in 1970 as this would make her 35 – not 19) – clearly her skin has seen the sun in the past 19 years, and so we can quite definitely rule out Widnes. The only thing that her skin would have been exposed to in Widnes is radiation and/or oil spills. Clearly she has only two breasts, again the obvious mistake because everyone knows girls from Widnes are malformed. Plus, this girl is lacking scales – clearly proving she is not from Widnes.

SweetestLadyevr – This one is actually possibly from Warrington. Why?? well she’s getting her (none existant) tits out in a night club. Behaviour, that I’m all for if I’m perfectly honest. However, there is one fatal mistake in this photograph – She has white teeth. Everyone knows that British people do not have perfectly white teeth such as this girls and therefore I would presume that this girl is actually from Iowa. The other factor in this girl being not from Warrington is that she looks vaguely happy. Clearly a state that no fucker from Warrington ever hits.

So I decided to create what I think is a more accurate representation of the girls from the areas mentioned. Feel free to disagree with me, I don’t fucking care.

SexyBitch1 will love you a long time. She’ll do pretty much anything for a pie, including murder close family members.

BubblyPieEater loves you, and chips.

MissUnderstud – she’s just misunderstood and in Warrington – She’s considered a fucking catch.