Random Links

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For the serious gamer out there, go and check out This website it is a collection (read, VAST collection) of game music that has been re-mixed with modern technologies, (and in the case of this exact link, very none-modern technologies)

Some recommended games to check out the music to…

Streets of Rage 2 – (Probably the best game music in the world ever)
Outrun (See above)

Lots and lots of other things…

Anyway, this is for the serious nerds out there….

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AKA – greatest game ever…

Raptor Safari

This one really is good… Not just your usual SYH ‘greatest game ever’, I mean, possibly the greatest game ever made in a web browser, that stutters a little bit but hell, it lets you kill raptors in a jeep. Please for the love of garlic bread, play this game.

Apparently we’ll all be boning robots in 2050: Obviously, only if you’re fantastically ugly [check] and unable to get regular attention from the opposite sex [check] – But that’s not what’s important about This article

Oh no, it’s way funnier because of the final line (which I’m not going to reproduce here because that takes away the punchline)

Either way, this was stolen from idiot toys because I have no original ideas.

What I want to know is, can you still text these robots randomly when you’re too drunk to know better?

In the way of Gordon Ramsey, Christmas Cards… Done.

Please don’t use the Happy Christmas one because that would make you a twat in my book.

A flash game where you have to escape a country and set up a new life in a bordering nation. It’s actually quite good for a flash game, and made even more hilarious if you use the name “You Twat”

Honest, trust me on this one, call yourself “You Twat” and play…

UNHCR: Against all Odds

best of craigslist : “What Happened to All the Nice Guys?”

No, I mean ever. NO, I mean EVER. Read my font! Ever..

It’s called “Firebox eXtender” and trust me, it really is the best thing I’ve downloaded in a windows tweak stylee for years. (providing you actually use your PC for more than Facebook)

What it does, is add a little love-heart folder to your “save as” window, with which, you can then select your custom favourite directories around your PC (i.e. c:\porn\ c:\vicars\ c:\squirrels\ and c:\downloaded pirated movies) and then whenever you wish to save or download something, instead of navigating through to said directory, you hit the little love heart folder icon and select it from a list (which can be edited, grouped, molested and fondled to your hearts content)

Although, there is one small caveat, you should ‘configure’ the app to not show the push-pin and roll-up options as they are fairly useless.

Honestly, I’m in no way affiliated with this application and it’s made me cry with joy…

Now toss off you bleeding wretch.

Just wondering about something…

Normal service will resume… erm.. eventually.

As it would make them happy

Now fuck off and do it…

ta.

A friend of mine said the following and I think it’s advice worth taking. “Find things you enjoy and enjoy them” – Although it was probably said in different words.

Thanks, good advice. :)

For people like me, (who have a website, can spell the word “the” and sometimes like to look at boring numbers like 1081) – this website is quite cool, if only for bragging rights.

Apparently I have 1081 people linking to my website. In some fashion or not. (Or maybe me posting a comment and planting my URL in the comments)

Anyway, here it is, feel free to type in your domain and laugh at how pathetic it ranks on Google…

popuri.us :: quickly check your site’s Google PageRank, Alexa Rank and more!

Have a Messy Desk? Congrats, You’re More Productive

I am the lord o’ mess, the duke o’ puke, the czar o’ … spar?

Either way, I have no further comment.

I’m a sucker for fonts and decent font websites.

Obviously there is SearchFreeFonts which I told you about a while back, but there is also another one called DaFont.

Dafont is a similar website but has a lot more variation of different types. [Har har] which means that there are some quite useful things hidden away on here. (Stuff you wouldn’t normally find on sff). They also have a lot of very specialist kind of fonts which can be useful (if you’re into that sort of thing)

A few more nice examples

Eroded fonts
Company logo’s, etc

[Via: Bittbox]

I’ve got a limited size host account with the [very good] hosting company 34sp.com but sadly I’ve ran out of disk space and don’t really fancy paying any more for a few more megabytes.

So I’m trial running Google’s Picasa Web Albums for hosting my images and see how that goes. (You never know, it might actually work)

Either way, the Von Neumann whiteboard is hosted on their servers and therefore seems to be working okay.

On the upside, this means I can now have gigabytes of images for you lot to devour.

Let me know if anyone suddenly stops seeing pictures.

Lebonon Photo Fraud in American Media (You can read more about this interesting topic here)

Before reading the rest of this post, go and check out the short video, explaining the photo fraud that goes on in the Media (and I thought it was just the British press)

Okay, did we all laugh at the woman greaving twice for her different families? Yes me too, and so I thought I’d show off some of my photoshop “skillz”





So now I understand how the googlegod see’s me.

All thanks to a tool called Google SiteMaps which allows you to verify that you own a particular website or some such and then shows you what Google see’s when people search the web.

Apparently, if you type “boredom killer” into Google, I’ll be number 1. If you type “Screw You” I’ll be number 10.

I’m still getting a scary amount of hits for “mona sax naked” and I’ve shot to number 43 for the word “minge” – which I whole heartedly enjoy.

P.s. the freaks that looked for Jade Goodie Naked deserve to be shot.

Sight Speed is a video to video conferencing thing that looks fuckin ace because it uses a Sight Speed Codec – which looks like it’s pretty fuckin ace (considering I was watching some fishies swim around in America in pretty much real time)

Anyway – thought I’d let you chaps know about it.

You.. Yes, you. I’m watching you. Yes, YOU with the mouse in their hand. I’m watching you, everything you do, everything you click, I’m fucking watchin’ alright?

ClickDensity is a cool website that allows you to track where visitors click on your website so you can determine where is popular and where isn’t. How good it is with dynamic content we’ll have to see. Which is also a motive for this post.

So I can see you all NOT clicking on The Manor

My natin on Nationstates.net is called the kingdom of official silliness. Feel free to join the relatively pointless game here and don’t forget to send me a telegram when you have…

You can view my nation here – Kingdom of Official Silliness

I hate Ronaldo

Yes I’ve sold myself to the devil that is Google AdSense. Yes, I’m aware that it will make me zero cash in the short and indeed long term, but to be honest I’m getting fuck all hits anyway so I might as well try and make some cash off it.

I’m not allowed to suggest you should click on the adverts and help me pay for this server. (Whilst I save up for a house and everything) but hey… Sue me.

Let me know if there is any loading issues of the page and I’ll axe the ads.

I don’t normally post students-bored-in-their-own-time videos where they recreate Starwars or maybe an episode of Lost.

But this one is esspecially class – I do believe it’s satire coming from Americans.. Wonders will never cease.

Goldeneye Apple

I like the pointlessness of this blog (no not my blog, my blog quite clearly has a purpose in life, it’s just struggling to find out what it is – much like it’s owner)

No, I’m referring to another blog. Which is a site dedicated to pictures of cats that look like Hitler. I particularly like the bottom one.

Aww isn’t it a pretty tree. this is what you get if you enter http://www.screwyouhippy.com into this website – where you can convert websites into graphs…

I wonder how long www.google.com would take.

Just click and you’ll get the idea…

Top quality idea and I think it’d make a cool music video.

The Swarm Really good idea, sadly let down by humans…

Funny, I’ve seen two websites that are basically hit-begging today. The first I can’t post on here because of my whole “No-Porn sites” policy on this website (Although it wasn’t porn, it did suggest the possibility of pink bits)

the second hit-begging website is much more admirable. A 25 year old virgin has made a bet with a girl that he can get 5 million hits in 30 days. (Which I find bordering on the extremly difficult I think) So I thought I’d help a fella out by posting it on here – just incase you wanted to read the guys story.

Help a guy out will ya?

The only way this could have been any greater a challenge is if it was on Lothar Matthaus.

Boris Johnson is still a twat, but a little part of me now likes him because of this tackle in a friendly – celebrity, for charity, shouldn’t really be trying to cripple anyone, football match.

Minor whinge

I nearly said soccer. Anyone who calls football soccer is an irredeemable twat.

Well here’s a handy little tool for people who blog to a few sites (And yes that is an invite for you to ask me to be a guest writer on your blog, I promise I’ll be funny(ish) and maybe even stop swearing)

Anyway. This seems like a cool little app that means I don’t have to put up with the cack user interface on WordPress any longer (I love WP but I also kinda dislike its clunky clunkiness)

Check out w.bloggar. It seems quite nice so far…

We shall see. As they say.

Someone has already gone and done it. Story of my life really.

I want to…

A list of “I want to burn a CD/look at newsgroups/look at cool screensavers” freeware… Remember, can’t get better than free.

EditSimilar vein to above, but really freeware this time…

If you can read this under the spam…

Picture Puzzle thing

Quite fun after the Easy stage

God working for Google must be so funky and cool, they are like DEAD intelligent and sit on podiums looking down at people not quite as smart as themselves. God I wish I was them, they make me errect just thinking about their long haired big brain fucking smarmy twat faces. I wish I was funky and ipodesque like the workers at Google with their MIT certificates and ingrowing eyebrows.

Google Romance – the ironic thing is they probably did think about it

P.s. Just kidding, I love all the people at Google. They seriously do make me errect, and to be frank, I’d like to bum them hard.

cartoon from www.weblogcartoons.com

Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Heres an April fools gag that is so simple it’s annoying.

MSNSpoof – Don’t say I never give you fuckin anythin.

Not very funny, but hey what have YOU done in the last ten fucking seconds?

Darkplace

Now available to buy

Ahh I love this peice of software… It’s quality.. It’s called recoloured (well, actually it’s called recolored but I refuse to accept the loss of a “U”)

Basically it takes a black and white picture and then you scrawl the colours where they should be and then press “C” – which makes the image coloured instantly..

It’s very very fun… Now I just need to find a black and white picture of a dart board..

High Speed Photo’s

The occurance of Argh

And now it’s time for ScrewYouHippies submission… *ahem* (And this is really heartfelt at the moment)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goldfish.. Swimming in formation. Yes, I didn’t believe it either.

Aren’t they supposed to have the attention span of a gnats chuff?

A long time ago I posted an article (which is frankly pushing the boundaries of truth) about how much I wanted an Optimus “monitors on the key’s” Keyboard.

They are coming out Feb 1st. – I just hope this isn’t some clever hoax.

I hate magicians. I might add – Sometimes there’s a trick that annoys me so much that I want to get a semi-automatic pistol and hold a fucking magician at ransom until he coughs up quite how he got that playing card in a taxi across the street.

Either way – I find these similiarly annoying – but in a strange way, fucking ace too.

(p.s. click on the left hand side menu to see different bottles)

Mood Tap is a world wide mood display. Apparently you lot a bunch of miserable bastards, so go check out this link and vote positive. Otherwise the kitten fucking gets it. You hear me?

Genius incarnate

Office Stock Photography – I particluarly love this image for the trust it demonstrates.

A driver faces losing his licence after being snapped four times by the same speed camera in under two minutes.

The 40-year-old Turk kept speeding past the camera in Switzerland to try and find out why it was continually flashing at him.

Full story

Google Analytics is very good if you’re into anal…ysis – Either way it allows you to track your website in a similar fashion to WebStats or the suchlike.

However, it does do a little bit more than that too. Mainly because it’s been stroked by the clever people at google and therefore it’s actually quite useful.

For example, I can tell you that strangely, of all the American readers I get, I get the most from Pennsylvania… Why this would be useful I’m not sure – Perhaps so I can calculate the chances of me getting my blood sucked.

Infact, the visitor is from Narbeth, Presumably in Pennsylvania – So Mr or Mrs, if you’re from Narbeth, I want you to comment on this very post and say “YES! I AM HERE TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD”

(har har so original doing a tran/pennsylvania joke)

I’ve not had coffee yet, go and check out Google Anal and come back to me, telling me how great I have made your life. Thanks

That’s the noise you’ll hear when you’re messing around with revver which is kinda like Flickr but with videos. And apparently it makes people money, There’s some more joy in the world then.

Go and have a look, you’re sure to find videos of people falling over and hurting themselves (I do advise that anyone who suffers from sympathy pains as much as I do – don’t go and visit)

Anyway, I’m off to see a wizard about a heart…

NASA Hurricanes, gotta love them. They get people wet in a very honest fashion and really don’t moan about rising taxes or the state of the countries roads.

They do, however, completely rip the shit out of anything they touch, and if you’re particularly unlucky, might try and drown you.

Of course, in a typically ScrewYouHippy desensitized fashion. I’m now going to link to NASA satellite videos of the 21 named hurricanes that hit the United States in 2005.

“Awww but they look so cute and fluffy” you’ll say as they hurtle into thousand of peoples lives without wiping their feet.

Merry Christmas, don’t say I never give you nuffink.

(and yes, I’m fully aware that was a double negative)

Hello there patrons of ScrewYouHippy.

I feel that you’re all scared of comments. I think that maybe I am a little bit snappy with my replies and sometimes I might be a little bit tetchy.

So I’ve added a new area to my website called “The mini blog” which will really stand or fail on you, yes YOU, the reading public.

Go Here and let your fingers do the talking… Anything goes.

I’m treating you like adults here people, this is a pretty much anonymous shoutbox for you to entertain yourself with.

Post something witty, post a cool website, post a poem about wanking, I really don’t care what you post – Hell, you can even spam it with poker websites for all I fucking care.

What’ll upset me more though is if I wake up tomorrow and no one has used it.

The most interesting thing about some of the images that make up the covers of these magazines is that I know some of the iconic images as if I had idolised them for years. (In particular the National Lampoon “Buy this magazine or we’ll kill this dog” image) and yet the oddest thing is – being English – I’ve never read a single copy of any one of these magazines. Not only have I never seen the ones featured here, but I’ve never even opened the cover of a Time magazine. I couldn’t tell you what it was about if I tried. (I am presuming that it’s not solely about the passing of time)

And so, here are the top 41 magazine covers of all time. Funny, not a single mention of C+VG anywhere…

Stellarium means you’ll never be left lost in the conversation about stellar constellations.

Vulpecula

On my travels around the solar system (and indeed beyond) I couldn’t help noticing this particularly wank constellation – It’s called Vulpecula and is quite simply, a line.

As you can see, it’s complicated system where it represents a real meaning. Unlike Orions belt or maybe Mr Plough, this one has no real relavence to what it’s supposed to represent.

Want to guess what it’s actually meant to represent?

Check that shit, OBVIOUSLY it represents a wolf looking at you, because I obviously see this every time I look at a straight line.

So I decided to invent a new constellation called “Vulpecula 1.2″ and here it is.. (It’s worth noting that I didn’t cheat and actually used real stars)

There we go… Job Done….

(Leeeeeroy)

Probably best to read this article on why falling from a plane could actually be quite an inspiring thing to do.

Particularly like the line..

“As you go down 15,000 feet, you can also go sideways two-thirds of that distance—that’s two miles! Choose your landing zone. You be the boss.”

Anwyay, have a read and remember to thank me when you survive that 35k foot drop…

Apparently my gaming opinion is worth being quoted…

Pity I don’t know the lingo

I must have been drunk when I wrote that post.

Now as everyone knows, I’m not one to laugh at others. (Ahem) – okay, let me start again with that one.

As everyone knows, I occasionally laugh at other people that are slightly less fortunate than me, or people I know, and/or anyone else. Usually however though, I only laugh at the people that are so cosmically dumb that they are actually asking to be laughed at. Yes, I’m talking about MMORPG players who dress up like their ingame character.

Marvel (har har) at their costumes and admire how nearly every online female lies about their figure… (except the blonde slutty one in knee high boots. She needs to wear less clothing to distract from the fact that her face looks like it’s been reversed into by a battle ship a few thousand times)

Dork Contest

I think my favourite has to be Emerald Vein (In contest four) I’ll let you figure out why…

I quite like this concept…

The Scream

Check out what I drun. YouDraw

Have a go yourself. It’s competely and utterly pointless.

(and yes, I can spell drew)

Save yourself thirty quid by not buying The Sims (it’s shit anyway – I’ve told you this before)

Watch Me Change

I’ll figure out the point of this website one day…

In the interests if equality (To this post here) I am now linking to

Iamfuckingterrified.com

That’ll teach you London twits…

Good to see John Cleese has revoked American Independence

I don’t care if it’s not written by him. (If it isn’t, then the impressionist needs a pat on the back).

For anyone who doesn’t know who John Cleese is – He’s the tall one out of that show that you keep quoting wrong, thinking it’s the only form of British humor. Oh, and he’s not the Tallest one, because he is dead, and therefore writing a witty article full of mostly obvious and old jokes online would be quite an impressive achievement.

And I take it back, it’s not a very good impression.

News.Au.Com is up there on my scale for “most pointless news website on earth” – I particularly like how this website is subtitled with “Breaking news 24/7″

Check out their latest newsflash – yes that’s right, men with more money get more sex.

I mean, strike a light, I didn’t know that until some news website pointed it out to me, It’s crazy.

Other headlines from this website.

“Scientists say Sun will return… probably tomorrow”
“Shock discovery as humans need oxygen to survive”
“Dying.. Apparently not just something that happens to other people”
“Jade Goody is ugly shocker!”

Yes I’m fully aware that this “research” was conducted by the BBC and therefore I should instantly stick up for it being patriotic and all, but I do sometimes wonder why we pay a license fee for shit we already know

Check this out when you’re bored.

Werenotafraid.com

A simple idea, but a good one.

The Google Toolbar for FireFox

Just wondering why anyone would ever want to install this? – Doesn’t FireFox have a Google search anyway. What’s the point of having all the other buttons that you never actually use.

Anyway…

Seen as I can tell that you’re so totally jealous of my fucking mega cool watch, I decided to share a little secret with you that TokyoFlash have two new watch designs that [while are not as cool as mine] are still quite cool.

TokyoFlash – If you’re so inclined.

Helloh, I’m at a pretty low ebb right now. If I was a gear box I’d be about to grind to a halt. And so I’m gonna, instead of moaning randomly, post a load of random links of shit to check out.

I’m wondering quite how this differs from my usual type of post…

Guess the movies from the Pictures of Stick men

A stick man adventure/final fight kind of game (Which is far too polished for a Flash game)

And sadly that’s all I could find that’s stickman related that’s worthy of these pages.

Probably the funniest thing Idiot toys has ever posted… (Which isn’t really saying much)
“London- A lot nicer now”

Hey.. Let me look at that post I made yesterday at a specific line..

“Yay! – lets increase our chances of a significant terrorist event by hosting one of the biggest global events ever invented”.

I really do wish these terrorists would stop reading my website. I WAS JOKING…

Anyway, onto much happier (and frankly probably more important) world news.

Sweden has legalised looking up womens skirts – I particularly love the last line of this news article.

“When we appreciate and adore the body by looking up ladies’ skirts, we are, to a certain degree, giving thanks to the creations of God, who after all made us in His image.”

I should really use that excuse for being a pervert too one day.

I hate people like this for being far too fucking talented and making me go “cool”

Check it oot.

Obligitory Cat Link

Here is a link to a website called Stuffonmycat.com which to be fair, is probably quite an apt name. This is mainly because this website is a collection of pictures with cats asleep and asorted items placed ontop of them.

I was getting worried that they wouldn’t do this in my life time, but it seems that some Australian scientists have cured death. (Who would have thought it, Australians, what a turn up that is, I thought they didn’t give a castlemaine for anything)

Anyway read this news article about how they have created Zombie dogs by basically reanimating dead dogs…

I wonder if this will make it into that funny “and in other news” slot on the BBC news at 10. “Oh, and in other news, Scientists have discovered a reasonable way of prolonging someone whos-already-going-to-die anyway life I mean death, I mean, Oh I don’t know what I mean”

Cool

I can’t describe how stupidly cool these two movies are without using an exclaimation mark.

Basically, a crazy guy called Virgil Widrich has used thousands (and I mean thousands) of printed images of movie stills, animated them into another movie.

If this doesn’t completely fuck over your brain whilst watching it then you’re lying.

Fast Film
Copy Shop – First oscar nominated film

You’ll need real player to view these, but I heartily suggest you don’t install the Real Real Player because the Real Real player is shitey spy ware.

Instead, Download and install Real Alternative (Which isn’t so ridden with spyware)

No doubt someone will turn these into a Music video one day and then we’re all gonna be remembering it like Sledge Hammer.

The Falling Chick A curiosity more than anything else. Don’t bother clicking on the link in the Flash file because then you’ll know where I steal all my links from.

Edit: Didn’t like the word “Curio” because it sounds so fantastically wankery

Balance the shit game This is probably more interesting… And frustrating because it ends eventually…

And while you’re at VectorPark, check out the actual vector park… VectorPark – Did I ever mention how I like cool weird shit?

Not sure what exactly to say about this website, apart from the creativity makes me a slightly little bit jealous.

PostSecret

Got to love annanova (for having one of the strangest website names on the planet) and also for providing me with endless links such as this one.

Jilted wife sells husbands lotus for 50p on Ebay

Full Story – A controversial radio DJ’s wife sold his £25,000 sports car on eBay for just 50p after he flirted with Jodie Marsh on air. Wife Hayley was listening and immediately posted an advert for the Lotus Esprit Turbo with a ‘Buy It Now’ option of 50p.

The Ebay Sale

Of course this could all be a PR stunt, but hey, Ebay don’t deal with PR stunts do they?! *Ahem*

More importantly? Jodie Marsh? She’s a fucking dog. I don’t understand it, You could find a fitter girl by litterally typing “Fit girl” into Google Image Search.. (Like this one – or this one – maybe not this one)

Now this is cool, and ever so slightly makes me want to throw a digital camera in a pond…

PondCamera

If you have an interest in photography (or even not but like to look at cool pictures) then check these out…

I wonder how long someone puts this filter on a Mobile phone..

Hey, I’ve saved you four quid, you should thank me for link stealing the only interesting thing in their 128 paged rag.

People doing vaguely interesting things with the Havok/Halflife 2 physics engine

If you have the technical knowledge to browse a forum and find videos to download, then you might like these. (also if you liked that “Cog” Honda advert)

It’s been a slow day… Okay!?

If you’re male, I want you to click through this websites gallery and not say the words “Cool!”

If you’re female, I want you to click through the very same gallery and not say the words “Sad Bastard”

Live nude cats

Have fun by mixing parts of different animals to make strange and wacky animals of your own. Of course, you could just hit Ctrl+H for me and replace “Animals” with “Beasts” – thanks

I did dyslexically read this link to being “BreastBlender” which would be entirely more entertaining

However, if anyone pays this fucking prick for this “service” then they deserve a similiar fate to that fucking frog…

Some Clever Wanker cashing in on a current phase in British media

I’m in a shit mood. Fuck off.

Names have been edited to protect the dead/injured (why?):-


Okay, so I shouldn’t laugh at this, but I find that there is a strange co-relation to “gaps” in this story.

You can read the full – unedited News story here

By Peter Parker
MANIAC [edit] The stay puffed Marshmellow Man — who shot two men in a quiet village — walked down the street bare-chested brandishing his double-barrelled shotgun and screaming: “Who wants to be f***ing next?�

So wait a minute. a Man walks down the street, holding a DOUBLE BARRELLED shotgun, and shoots two people, then asks “Who wants to be fucking next?”

Simple mathematics people. He’s fired twice, with a double barrelled shotgun?

Farm hand Mellow, 20, opened fire at Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader in front of scores of stunned drinkers outside a busy pub.

He was found dead a few miles away after turning his weapon on himself.

so apparently, he either found some more ammo, or was a lucky shot with his first one. Or Perhaps he had more ammo.. Either way, “Who wants to be fucking next” *reload reload* seems a little bit odd to me

The stay puffed Marshmellow Man — described as a “troublemaker who loved his gun� — was drinking heavily before his Friday night rampage.

Lets hope so.. I’m betting stella

Luke’s mum Padme Amidala last night said her son was “in the wrong place at the wrong time�.
She said: “All he can remember is looking round and seeing the gunman point a gun. It all seemed random.
“He didn’t know him and he doesn’t know why he was shot.�

Daniel’s dad Mr Metachlorians said: “He was a bit fortunate because he was turning away and the shotgun blast hit him in the side.�

Why yes, he’s so very fortunate, to be shot by a bloody mad man with a shotgun, Sounds fucking well lucky to me… Maybe tomorrow he’ll be witness to the Devil returning to Earth whilst being hit by lightning and a frozen streak of piss from an overhead plane

A woman who yesterday answered the door at his family home in Launcherley, near Wells, said she had no comment.

Waiiiit a minute.. isn’t saying “I have no comment” a comment? I hope she exploded in a puff of logic

A former school pal of The stay puffed marshmallow man said last night: “He was mad. He was always looking for a fight and loved to go shooting birds and animals.�

shooting birds… Har har

Ho-hum…

Let Darth Vader read your mind

Okay, so it got Flamingo.. It failed to get Compact Disk. I call it a draw.

Xbox 360 wins…

(also check out their pigeon rank link lower down the page for a giggle)

An interesting page, if only to see how popular Paris Hilton is…. Oh I wonder why

WARNING: MALE CONTENT IN THE FOLLOWING POST – YES I KNOW THIS IS HUGELY SEXIST, A MASSIVE TURN OFF FOR ALL MY FEMALE READERS (“ALL” ha) – ANYWAY.. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, IF YOU ARE FEMALE AND HUGELY OVER SENSITIVE, JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR THE NEXT TEN LINES OR SO. THANK YOU AND GOODBYE —- CLOSE THEM!

Hi my male readers. I feel that I perhaps have been neglecting you lately by not writing random tirads about how much women are fucked up in the head and the such like. I TOLD YOU TO CLOSE THEM!

Anyway, back to the subject.

A few days ago I recieved an e-mail link that should have come in a golden envelope. It has invaded my psycholical makeup in such a way that my sleep patterns have been disturbed.

Yes gentlemen. The search is over. I present to you…

THE VERY BEST ASS IN THE WORLD

The search is over, you can all relax, safe in the knowledge that you will not die without ever having seen it…..

I know, I know.. no need to thank me for completing your life, just think of it as a gift that ScrewYouHippy is glad to give.

TO MY FEMALE READERS: OKAY YOU CAN OPEN THEM AGAIN NOW. FEEL FREE TO COMMENT ON HOW WOMEN ARE NOT POSSESIONS AND THAT BY POSTING SUCH A LINK ON MY WEBSITE I AM BECOMING THE SAME TAR PAINTED MALE STEREOTYPE YOU’D ALREADY EARMARKED ME AS ANYWAY – CHEERS

I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT THIS ISN’T THE FIRST MILDLY OFFENSIVE POST ON THIS WEBSITE AND WILL PROBABLY NOT BE THE LAST

Posted for myself really, but hey, you might learn something too…

If you use the full fat version of Microsoft Outlook (not the Express install) there is a bug/problem whenever you import your old contact data from a previous install (be it on another machine or what not)

Anyway, here is the full error message so I can find it when I search ScrewYouHippy

The address list could not be displayed. The Contacts folder associated with this address list could not be opened; it may have been moved or deleted, or you do not have permissions. For information on how to remove this folder from the Outlook Address Book, see Microsoft Outlook Help.

Comedy website…
Beauty and Chaos

Connect to a white board, Draw with 20 odd other people drawing at the same time…

Interesting Googlemap websites

When oh when are they going to do England, It’d only take two minutes!

Well, it made me chuckle like a chuckly little bitch.

TeeHee

And this is the most interesting use of the interweb I’ve seen for at least 2 minutes.

All About Soil

Vomit inducingly cute site

KittenWar – May the cutest kitten win.

Not sure why exactly I found myself laughing at this website. Not being a particular fan of the show (Sorry, it’s just a bit too, Catchphrasy…)

Anyway, the pictures raised a giggle on an otherwise kinda ordinary Saturday. LittlerBritain – Plus the website owner? (perhaps even star?) asked nicely.

Oh, and it apparently won “Richard and Judy’s Little Britain lookalike contest” which it proudly exclaims on its pages…

Meanwhile

I have a hangover, I hate lap dancing bars and Resident Evil 4 is fucking ace…

The Pope
God almighty, we only just got a new pope and already someone has spotted him on their morning toast.
Quick work – what I particularly admire is the Internet address.
Boy there are some sad fucks out there. (And I just linked to one)

Lovely.

Rubiks Cube
One of my pet hates in this world is the Rubiks Cube. I hate this fucking block of 3×3 puzzle shite. Anyway, you can play a Rubiks Cube right here online. It’s rather good. If slightly pointless and annoying.

Then you can watch the masters at work on Chris Hardwicks Rubiks Cube page. Where he proceeds to solve a rubiks cube blindfolded in 18.50 seconds.

Unoriginal Bastards
Ever wondered if some evil fucker is copy and pasting from your website and then posting it on theirs? (What the fuck do you mean “no, never?”)

Anyway, this website called CopyScape scans your website then scans the internet for similar looking pages. Very handy and helped me spot some wanker posting my not at all serious “sale of ScrewYouHippy.com” which you can view here (I suspect for a limited time)

Coolest website ever…. Ever… Ever…(No really this time)
Googlemaps – Get a broadband connection and then take a tour of America. (remember to click on “Satellite mode”) – I now no longer desire to see the statue of liberty or the Golden Gate bridge.

Razorlight, famous for doing not very much have made a rather spiffing Daley Thompsons decathlon type game. Just a pity it has been hacked, but fun to break your keyboard with nonetheless.

The link is Here my big bummed friends.

How to fix a problem with Internet Explorer

Install Firefox

I spy, with my little eye, a fake website.

Check this website out for something very strange concerning your eyes and how cack they are..

Optical Illusion

Ahh I missed this little dedicated part of ScrewYouHippy.com for the past couple of weeks. However, I think that the insanity of this Quite frankly insane Japanese game more than makes up for it.

Yes, you are a girl who must cycle her way into a blue haired bloke and launch him skyward for as long a distance as possible.

2607.18m to beat.

This site is certified 19% EVIL by the Gematriculator

I’ve long been concerned that SYH.com is Evil. However, the above logo categorically proves that this is not the case. I am so proud.

Also on the interesting scale is the “Kill everyone” project where they are trying to accumulate as many mouse clicks as there are humans on the planet…

Edit: Instead of me just printing links to everything on this website, go check it out.

Particularly try.. Twinkle, Gravity and Wanker

Silly, but it amused me…

The Cat Dictionary

Seventeen seconds of boredom led me to doing this…

I like the Mars Bar adverts which essentially revolve around stuff that people like doing and then adding the tag-line “Pleasure you can’t measure”. This is basically so that you compare good things with eating Mars Bars…

And so I decided to come up with my own Mars Bar Slogan suggestions. This will probably not be amusing to anyone other than myself.

Then I found This website which is the Visible Mars Project. Which compares English Mars Bars to American Mars Bars.

Handy for the American people here reading this and generally quite amusing.

Lookalikes.co.uk contains some quite frankly fucking scarily bad lookalikes to famous people. My particular favourites are Saddam and George Formby

Posted with thanks to a particular work e-mail…

Type into Google “French Military Victories” and press “I’m feeling lucky”…

Yes, before you say it, I know

Splinter Cell – Don’t even bother if you don’t have a broadband connection.

So for those users who have a wet rat holding a paper cup and some string for a connection, forget it, that little blighter isn’t gonna help one bit.

Passive submissive

I need something to dooooo, *sigh* I’m so bored, *whine whine*

I like walls, and in contradiction to the previous post. I quite like Graffiti. I, however, especially like This website which houses a gallery of particularly funny/weird/haunting or sober things written on walls.

Sounds odd? It is.

I think my favourite is “Meat is murder, go vegan” and someone has written “Go Vegan Go!” afterwards. Classic.

I won’t spoil the rest, go check it out. It’s a novel waste of your life.

I like pretty pictures.

Check this shit

End

I hate forums, let it be categorically known that I can’t stand these retard filled sess pits of humanity. Forums are about as much use as a paraplegic with an itch.

What I really fucking hate is the operators of said forums. If I read “*cough*off topic*cough*” again, I swear I’m going to rip my spleen out. So what if it is off fucking topic. If I see this picture once more on a forum from some smarmy twatend that thinks he’s being original by taking glee and posting it after every stupid question, I’ll do nothing, not a single thing.

However, and here comes yet another contradiction on the pages of ScrewYouHippy.com, This forum is actually very good. It contains therein a selection of titbits about the English language, for example, whether you should follow “Dir Sir/Madam” with “Yours sincerely, yours faithfully, or I hate you” – and if that applies to E-mails or not.

See? I found a purpose for it once, and then it ends up with a link on my website. Perhaps you have a website that needs some sort of praise. If so, why not post it in the comments to this topic? (P.s. If you post poker online, I’ll cry)

Ever get one of those tests in your e-mail from a friend, (enemy), work pal that is essentially a test of memory, or maybe a pop quiz.

Isn’t it annoying thinking that the smug author of this excel sheet has password protected his work of torture and there is very little you can do about it.

Well guess what, there is.

Usually these people don’t bank on the tool on this website which comes in the form of a .xla file (that’s an Excel Add-in file for none-acronym-liking-people (or NALP’s)).

Basically this .xla file allows you to hack a protected worksheet, (or workbook)’s password so that it is unlocked, meaning you can then track the devious ways the author has tried to hide the answers in the sheet.

Another handy tip is to go into the Visual Basic Editor, (Alt+F11) and check the two panes on the left out. (The top one is a breakdown of all the worksheets in this workbook, and the lower one on the left is the currently selected worksheet in the workbook.

Usually, the author will use 2- veryhidden as a visibility flag on the sheet, which thusly hides the sheet in the tabs at the bottom.

Am I speaking greek to you? Yes? Super. I don’t really care as this post is mainly intent for the future me that forgets everything he’s written down here and goes back to minding his own bloody business when someone e-mails him a “80′s pop quiz” again…

I remember watching a film with Sandra Bullock in it called 28 Days. Whilst this film is utter wank, it did have the saying “If you can keep a plant alive for a year, then move onto a dog, and then if that and the plant are still alive after two years, then you can try a relationship”

In this ethos, I have just bought one of the things above called an ecosphere. Now, I’m the kind of person who has killed a cactus through neglect, so I feel that this ball of shrimp filled goodness may very well be the answer.

The Ecosphere was developed by some bored Nasa scientist (probably the same one that figured out why buttered bread always lands slimy side down) and is essentially a sealed glass ball containing all the requirements for life to continue indefinitely.

Algae creates oxygen, which is required by the little shrimps, who emit Co2 which Algae likes, and thusly the circle continues…

All I need to do is watch it and go “ooh look, I have three shrimpy’s in a glass ball” and occasionally check it’s getting enough light.

So who knows, after maybe a year, I can go buy a dog. (Pity I already have two)

Check this website out which allows you to place vectors and blow little wind particles around.

Spend literally seconds going “Ooo” and “awww” and then click the X button on your browser, satisified that another few minutes of your life have been spent.

Edit: Then check out this website for bouncy ball painting madness.

Gotta love Proce55ing.

Check this out if you’re into exceptionally fucking odd things that make you go “oh, cool”

Tiny Grow

Or for the Miss Marpble wannabes out there, Check out this website for a detective-em’-up (I’ve always had a soft spot for these games because I used to love Mortville Manor on the Amiga)

So, get ya Deerstalker out and get solvin’ (bitch)

Edit: Fixed the tiny grow one because it was broken.. The murder one now works though, but in the cold, harsh light of day, it’s a bit wank

Arty

Mother is the Necessity of Invention. (Or something..) – So I needed to invent a tool that can write a string of text onto a blank pink background.

If you click here you can see the fruits of my labours.

Marvel at it’s complete and utter simplicity… But hey, I’m still learning php and so therefore I was very proud of myself (and it actually has a useful application that I can’t say on SYH!)

You can replace the ?text=ScrewYouHippy on the address bar to get a different text output.

Useless eh?

Okay so I probably know this is old news to anyone who lives in New York but hey, I don’t give a fuck. Primiarly because I don’t live in New York, have no intention of living there, have never met a New Yorker and can’t fucking stand anything to do with the place (just by what impressions I get from Tv (some dead french philosopher believed that travel by the ignorant could be done purely in the mind, I kinda think he was right…))

Apart from that… This website is quite an amusing little place where spies in New York post things they have overheard by random people. Well, it amused me for about twenty seconds..

I’m glad to see that Amazon.co.uk is finally stocking my new book. (It’s reet’ gold tis) – And you can purchase it by clicking on the link below…

The Games Development Songbook

It’s taken some time but I’ve finally completed my life work. Here it is, the Games Development Songbook. A collection of songs to sing whilst making that smash hit game. Started in 1990, this book comprises of over 156 songs for the budding game developer, including the following classics that anyone, Programmer, Designer, Artist or Dogsbody can enjoy.

  • “Oops I commited again” – A charming ditty about someone commiting the wrong file to CVS even though they’ve been told not to in the past
  • “Been around the world, and I, I, I can’t find my UML diagram” – Because lets face it, we’ve all been there
  • “Jailhouse vertex blending” – A rock ballad about blending those pesky vertices
  • “Your money for nothing and your chicks for a user interface design document”
  • The smash hit “Mr Pissy and his lonely hearts club band”
  • “Documentation is a girls best friend”
  • “Its the end of the development process and I feel fine”

Available at all good bookshops right now.

“Eyyyy If I was around at the start of it all I could have been one of those blinkin’ internet millionares by nowEEyyyyy” says some random twat down the pub.

Ever wondered what the first ever domain name registered was? Think it’s something like ALGORE.COM? well guess what, it ain’t.

Apparently the first ever registered Domain name was the rather symbolic, SYMBOLICS.COM – I wonder what is there…

Of course, how would I prove such a preposterous claim that I know such a thing? Well, right here is a list of the first 100 websites registered. Good to see Microsoft were as forward thinking in 1986 as they are today.

(ahem)

Edge Magazine. (Or should that be EDGE?), love it, hate it, think it’s particularly shit. Whatever, they sometimes print decent links in their overly flowery brochure for games as art. Remember, if it ain’t jap, it’s crap.

However, I find that their browsing skills are quite impeccable. (Which further proves my theory that there is an EDGE Wizard out there that asks questions like “What Japanese game should we talk about this week?”, “Which game should we under-rate this week purely to be controversial?” and “Which game should we print a making of, which really didn’t make any sort of impact on the games industry as a whole anyway, this month?”)

Face it. GamesTM is pissing on your grave from a great height.

Link Stealage:-

Swearing at Text Based Adventures (not big or clever)
Crazy Japanese Shooter of the Month (from the Creator of Noiz)

This mildly amusing website has some videos of people walking around doing various things video game characters do.

One highlight is watching the real-life version of Shenmue where the character Ryu wanders around asking all sorts of questions. Course, in this real life version he’s asking genuine American’s if they’d like a game of lucky hit.

Other highlights are the Metal Gear Solid video where Snake is trying to escape from a Super Market. Highly entertaining, but sadly for anyone using Dialup not one for you.

Take it easy

As Tek has accurately stated in his comment (which was very well rounded, intelligent and completely and utterly above the level of the usual comment) – FireFox actually IS a very decent alternative to IE. I’d long since labelled it as “yet another wannabe opera” but it’s actually not.

The reason it’s decent is that it’s very close interpretation of the IE environment, if you weren’t a little net savvy (That’ll be my mother then) you’d probably never spot that you’re not using IE. All the options are in similar places and the layout is very simple. The bookmarks work, and don’t take twenty hours to view. Tabbed browsing seems well done (like, it fucks off when you don’t need it any more, and comes back when you want it. Again, unlike Opera)

However, what is better about Firefox is that it views web pages. Unlike Opera it can handle frames and silly javascripts.

So. I’m a convert. If you look hard enough on the left hand side of my page I’ve even added a banner. A mighty honor indeed.

(I’ve even made SYH.com look right in it too)

There I was minding my own business at work when the tweet-tweet of e-mail arrival marked the next chapter in ScrewYouHippy.

Yes, I recieved an e-mail. One of those e-mails that are sent to a faked ScrewYouHippy address. Much like how I send all unwanted registration information to a@a.com, some people out there use @screwyouhippy.com as a good postfix for their spam..

However, on rare occasions it backfires and someone very dim sends a legitimate username log in to one of their important things and thusly, sends me their password too.

So.. If you feel like visiting this website – Where I am going to proceed in calling the person who decided to spam my e-mail inbox a big fat wanker.

Childish? Moi? Yewp. And so I’ve now hijacked his nickname, and will proceed to waste my time and insult generally everything.

Here is my general security warning to all internet users posted with this dipshits username. Be warned.

Edit: Sadly some people don’t give a poo about internet security and have removed the link… Burgers

For anyone who needs to host their website. I really cannot fault 34sp.com for their overall brilliance. They do pretty much everything the average web personage will need and then…

At christmas time, they give you an extra 20 mb of storage space… Just because it’s christmas? Quality eh?

Anyway, I’m off to play Prince of Persia 2. Oh, and Northwich is the shittest place on the earth to get any computer games from. Try and buy Sid Meiers Pirates! on PC and the “specialist” games shop Level 1 have sold out. Fair enough, but then you walk around seven or eight more shops that might have it, and none of them do. Infact, none of them even sell PC games.

Woolworths don’t sell PC games any more? What the fuck?
WHSmiths don’t sell PC games any more? What the fuck?

Dixons…. well, Dixons is just fucking Dixons isn’t it?

Underestimate how things on the internet can make ya go all gooey inside.

StyleBoost.com

This is a website that collects together the vain, the self centered and the none-stylistically challenged websites out there and puts them infront of you for your awe at spinny things.

Have fun.

Prawnography.net

The materials available on this website include graphic visual depiction’s and descriptions of a fishy nature.

The site should NOT be accessed by spawn, whitebait, sprats, winkles, or anyone who may find this material offensive.

This entry was created by entering each word that it contains into google and pressing I’m feeling Lucky

And I don’t recommend you click on any of the links!

Sometimes you have to restore your PC’s hard disk. Of course, the problem with doing this is that you lose everything. All your bloody passwords.

That also includes your password to ScrewYouHippy – What a bastard.

And so, I had to log into my phpMyAdmin for the site and hack the users database. To do this, I needed to screw over my md5 hashed password.

Without going into too much detail.. All I’m going to do is provide this link which is a handy little string to md5 converter…

Useless eh? :)

The page opens with the line “Where the minds eye is visualise”…

You know you’re somewhere special when flicking through Aaron Ards website. He’s obviously a hugely talented artist

this website is just seriously full of quotes that inspire [hatred] and amazment [laughter]

Please feel free to check out the mind of ard.

And I will leave you with this quote of the genius that is Ard…


Welcome to my site of imagination and art. This site is a culmination of 20 years of my work and research. For the time, it's under construction. Feel free to explore as much as possible. So enjoy for the final phase of this website is to makte it flow and read like a comic book. Click the pictures to get around especially the taskbar picks within. They will teleport you all over the site to where you desire to go for as the site develops, words will begin to dissappear

See? Genius.

Sadly I can’t tell you why I find this website to funny, and/or the origins of the link, and/or anything else.

Whilst looking for something completely unrelated, I came across the Durex World Sex Survey. (Fnar Fnar, I used the word “Came” in the same sentance as “Sex” – Fnar)

Apparently we have yet another reason to hate the French as they are the worlds most frequent shaggers – just a pity that they are mostly fucking their own egos…

It’s not all bad news though, because, as I have suspected for many years, the British are probably the best at sex in the world. (using the simple equation – More Foreplay = Better sex) we win. 22.5 minutes of foreplay on average. Crazy… I could have done it three times and eaten the pizza in that amount of time… What’s also worth noting is the lowered position of the French in this table. So, while they are the most frequent shaggers, they don’t dilly dally around with any of that foreplay stuff…

Also interesting to read is that the Americans are more into spanking than the Brits… Just as I suspected…

Superbad.com is one of those rare websites that actually held my attention for more than twenty seconds. A superb collection of web-erm-”things” where the aim is to click through.

Really trippy fucked up crazy kinda shit, but interesting in an arty kind of way. As a friend of mine might say.

McDonalds Employee Simulator is a similarly artsy – “odd” concept of a website. This site, you select between various options that are presented to the average McDonalds worker. I found it drew strange similarities to my own life. Particularly when it went round in one big loop.

Check ‘em oooot

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